New Year, New…Something.

Well, if you remember my last bit of excitement, you will know that I had been given the opportunity to write content at The Odyssey Online. As a result, I decreased what I shared on my blog, so that my content would be available to publish elsewhere.

Last night, I stepped back.

I am a person who loves to write at my own leisure, I love not having deadlines, I love publishing my content as soon as I write it and publishing more than just once a week.

Don’t get me wrong, the overall community I was submitting to, is amazing, and they will continue to grow and put out amazing content; it just wasn’t for me.

So, now begins the next chapter of things that are going on.

I am doing a lot more with the school. I am relaunching my business and brand, and I am just staying busy busy busy! There are times of stress and times of excitement and well, that’s just life.

This week I started my weightloss journey, starting with dieting, and today I started working out; or getting my ass kicked, whichever the case may be.

2017 is a great year, it is off to a fabulous start and I Look forward to seeing where life goes!

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The Fucks I Give as a Grown Woman

Yesterday, I ran across this article; you may have seen it? It was entitled The Fucks I Don’t Give as a Grown Woman, or something close to it.

I read the article, cheered for each point…

Yes!

OMG Me Too!

No Freaking way!

Yeah! That’s me to a T!

Then I sat back, and thought…

Do I really give…no fucks?

So I jotted down this list..

In my brain..

And quite honestly, men may relate too some of these too.

1. The First Day of School. 

Yep, but not mine….my minions. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love love love my kiddos; I look forward to summers and make plans of this is what we will do today, this is what we will do tomorrow; so on and so forth.  That first day of school though, none of us can wait. The kids are tired of me, I am ready to get things back in order around the house. It’s just an over all great day for us all.

 

2. Bedtime. 

True story, as I get older the more ready I am for the kids to go to bed, just so I can lay my head on that exceptionally fluffy pillow. You know what I mean? I just feel so exhausted by the time I am able to lay down that I can barely make it through an epi of Criminal Minds or Bones. 

 

3.  Food Sales! 

Yes! Four kids eat you out of house and home! If our house was made of Gingerbread, we would be in for it! What better way to spend your shopping experience than going to Dillon’s and hitting up all the awesome sales they generally have, all while saving money on gas too because, hello….fuel points!

4. FUEL POINTS!

….Because no extracirricular activities (and a job) can be completed without a full tank of gas; and we stay busy!

 

5. Did I mention sleep?

**see above under Bedtime!**

 

Well, I am starting to not give any fucks about finishing my list; but please understand that when you are in the I don’t give a fuck mood, there are still plenty of things to give a few fucks about.

 

 

Color of the Day

Well, today should be interesting;  topic of the day?

What’s your favorite color and why?

Favorite color? Easy peasy, Black; but not just black, soft black, faded black, brand new before first washing black. They all rock.

I dislike, leaves fuzz on your feet the first time you wear them black though.

So, why do I love black?

I must be gothic.

No, in fact that isn’t even anywhere near close to who I am. I am simply me.

Black is classy, sassy and everything in between, I never have to say, “hey does this match?” “Do these black shoes, match my black soul?”

Again, kidding on that last part.

I remember a day in cosmetology school where we had to check in, and the teacher wanted to know our favorite color, and when she called me I flawlessly said “Black, like my soul” everyone giggled. That day, I was not wearing any black.

Back to black and why it is my favorite color.

  • It always matches, everything, including my hair.
  • It hides a lot more stains, better than most colors, going nude is the best way to hide stains though, it wipes off easily.
  • My dog and I can rock twin day
  • It’s classy and grungy and everything in between (I can rock whatever style I want to that day, and still be me!)
  • I don’t notice the pet hair! Yaay black furbabies!

Now don’t get me wrong, black has it’s flaws

  • It absorbs heat (so just stay inside!)
  • It brings on stereotypes
  • White pets that shed….well at least my light colored animals dont shed much!
  • Shows deodorant spots quite well

The list can go on, but I think you get it!

In closing, I would like to share a work experience with you.

So, I was on location for a boudoir shoot, doing hair and makeup for the gal. I was in my go to wardrobe of black, and my leggings had skulls on them (I love skulls too!) I had a sweetheart neckline pinup style black dress on. My hair was purple and pale pink at the time. I had neon green eyeshadow on and bright red lipstick on, I believe it was Max Factor, Dominatrix something. I was dressed as Me.

So, my client and I had previously talked, and myself with the photographer, go get an idea of style out of the way so I wouldn’t pack suitcases of stuff I wouldn’t need.

The minute she saw me she freaked out and was like “please don’t do THAT to me” later on followed by “do you always wear all black?” “are you gothic?” Now, I get that people have genuine curiousity, and yes, it’s awesome, that you can ask these questions, in fact if you really want to get to know someone then questions are the way to go; however, when you are trying to get to know someone, listen to what they have to say, don’t sit there and be stuck with your original opinion of them and let their answers go in one ear and out the other.

The point to this story is, don’t pin what you see and someones favorite color, as who they are. Don’t pass judgement over someone that you don’t know, you shouldn’t pass judgement period.

Everyone has their past and present stories, let them be the ones to tell it don’t be the narrator of their life.

“Confidence is Beautiful”

Confidence.

Beauty.

Two things, that a lot of people don’t think of as being together.

Two things, that many have troubles accepting.

But why is this important for me to share?

Solely for the purpose of sharing, my favorite quote and what it means to me; maybe even inspiring at least one person who takes the time to read this.

For many years, I developed this complex; a feeling of not being worthwhile, I was self-concious; and in this self-conciousness I found myself physically and emotionally degrading myself.

Now, during these times, I felt confident; but it wasn’t healthy confidence that I was building, because, let me tell you, that confidence went away as soon as the hangovers began.

But what do you do when you are surrounded by people who don’t understand?

You drift.

Give up.

Go into a hole of anger, hate, and depression.

You push people away.

What you don’t realize is that person you are pushing away from knows exactly what you are going through; they are seeing you in that downward spiral, and they want to help; but you wont let them.

Then one day you meet someone new, who knows what you are going through and they bring to light, the exact same things that your friend already understood. You are elated to have someone to talk to who gets it.

You get these exercises to help build you up, and before you know it, you are feeling more confident in a healthy way; you are able to talk to your friends again, who have forgiven you; you are able to meet new people who accept you- the list goes on.

What does this have to do with Confidence is Beautiful?

Everything.

Being beautiful isn’t about the way you look, your makeup and hair being on point, the clothes you wear, how skinny you are; this list can go on.

The confidence that you have, however; can help enhance how you feel about yourself when looking at these things.

A few years ago when I was starting out with modeling, I traveled to a photographer who was 20 mins away from my hometown; I was excited about this shoot because I was confident that it was going to be awesome.

For starters it was, but then it turned for the worse; when I refused to sleep with the photographer. That is not how I wanted my name to end up.

At that point I suffered the most degrading comments that I had ever heard, which I will spare; I had no desire, no drive, all confidence was lost. I was fat and unattractive, and I was shattered.

That photographer was wrong; why let a complete stranger be that voice in your head telling you that you are not worth it? Why let anyone be that voice?

Be your own voice!

That is where you need to wake up every morning and face that mirror and say, “You ARE worth it, you are an amazing person who is going to grab this day by the balls and make it your bitch!”

Then listen to some music that inspires you.

Eliminate the negativity. Embrace the positivity.

Build your confidence and once that is done, you will realize how beautiful you are inside and outside.

Confidence is what is beautiful folks.

Embrace it.

Live it.

Be one with it.

Tattoos

Tattoos, Ink, Body Mods; whatever you call them.

We love them, others hate them.

Have you figured it out yet?

Today’s writing topic is; “Do you have tattoos? What are their meanings, if any.”

Yeah, I have some ink.

So let me tell you about it!

So, my very first tattoo, was this cute little blue butterfly holding a cherry

 

 

Meaning?

Well, this was a piece for my son, hence the blue. The day that I found out I was pregnant with him, I stepped out of the office, and there was a butterfly, fluttering around; first one I had seen that year.  Why the cherry? I’ve had an addiction, taste-wise, jewelry wise, clothing wise….in face my nickname for many years has been Cherry.  It seemed fitting!

Then, I did the dreaded deed….and got my ex’s name on the back of my neck…matching tattoos he got my name I got his, after months and months of just having a simple “S”

After this, I added on to my first ink, the butterfly as the base of a cherry blossom tree with three more butterflies; one for each of my girls, each a different color. Each kiddos name was also added to this.

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Moving on to the next cherry blossom tattoo, cherry blossom tree branch, blue nautical stars and mom and dad.  They are my rock, always have been, even though my mom and I didn’t speak for a year and a half basically due to my relationship, this was a time of expanding for me, and growth. They are the only parents I will ever have.

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On my left arm I have a compass rose; complete with a hibiscus and anchor with the words Carpe Diem; for those of you who don’t know, this means “Seize the day”.

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As a Make-Up artist rocking the world of self employment, I have a cosmetics tribute that is unfinished; a pair of shears, and a skull with shears and “Mepaki” (Meraki). This is a word that modern Greeks often use to describe what happens when you leave a piece of yourself (your soul, creativity, or love) in your work. When you love doing something, anything, so much that you put something of yourself into it. Which fits me when it comes to my passions.

I’ve also loved Hello Kitty, and am still in process of finishing my Hello Kitty Sugar Skull Cherries on the back of my arm.  Isn’t that a mouth full?

On my write wrist I have the word LOVE, which is symbolic for the To Write Love on her Arms charity. I lost a friend to suicide and this is my everyday reminder.

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Then there is the infinity symbol with “and beyond” which my fiance used to always say to each other.

“live every moment, laugh everyday, love beyond words” ….because you should.

Now, going back to legs.

I have a pinup anchor on my thigh, which I plan on adding on to.

Then my right thigh hold a more “alternative style” dream catcher. By this I mean…there’s a D….which stands for my fiance’s name, and dreams. An owl, stargazer lily, and rainbow feather each have their spot on this D.

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I design the majority of my ink myself!

My rainbow feather, exploding out of leopard print, with my coming out date.

And finally, japanese kanji on my right foot which means *drumroll please* Cherry Blossom!

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So, there you have it; the chaos that is my body.

 

A Letter to a Stranger

Dear Stranger,

I know you don’t know me personally; however, we have crossed paths many times.

Of course if you saw me, you would know exactly who I am; and I want you to know, that you are appreciated.

You may not always have the best of days; but the fact that you don’t dwell on that is amazing.

Your kindness to others; is admirable. 3f7f281ebea422c060d20fe3c3a9cf79

Not many these days give others the respect that they deserve; but you always go above and beyond- for that, I thank you.

I always try and check out my things in your line, because you don’t stare at me like I am a freak, you respect me enough to tell me my total instead of leaving me to read it for myself, you always bag my things; as opposed to leaving it to me to ask for a bag when there are multiple things there, and you say “have a great day” upon finishing ringing me up.

You rock!

Sometimes I just don’t want to go to Walmart or Dillons to get things that I can get right there in the shop; less people.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care what people think of me and my appearance, however, as an employee, everyone should be treated fair and equal.

I know this isn’t something that is in your stores rules; but thank you!

Now you go and have a wonderful day!

Sincerely,

Just Another Stranger

*~*~*~*

Regardless of where you are; shopping, working, garage saling; in order to be respected it is always appropriate to give that respect as well.

This letter could fit in any situation, not just a quick stop at the gas station to do some micro shopping.

So the next time, you see someone giving or showing compassion, tell them they are appreciated! People like this are becoming a dying breed;  the ways that children are being raised these days are not like they were when we were growing up; and a lot of people my age are still lacking in this same compassion and such.

 

 

How Fascinating

Who is someone who fascinates you, and why?

I may have to skip today otherwise I may write a book on fascinating people.

I am sure others have written about their significant other, mom, dad, grandmother, etc.  Today though, I think I am going to go with my daughters second grade teacher Ms. Hicks.

For the sake of this, I wont mention schools; you already know where I live; but I don’t encourage stalking- so with that in mind.

Why?

Why am I choosing to write about a teacher, as opposed to the random person at Wal-Mart, the cashier at the gas station, random strangers?

I may, it almost sounds fun, Letter to a Stranger, coming up next!

Now, keep in mind, I became familiarized with this teacher last year when my son had her, however, what you must know to fully understand is that, this year is the first time I have REALLY been involved with my kids education; not because I didn’t want to be, but because my schooling and working, didn’t allow me to do so.

Ms. Hick’s is probably everything that I would have loved in a teacher when I was growing up; the kids lover her, she makes an impact and she is personable towards the parents. As in, she helps us understand the insanity of how they have changed the core cirriculum.

My son is ADHD, his first grade teacher (at another school) basically insisted that to get through the day, he needed medicated. Didn’t want to do it, but we did. Especially when his Doctor also insisted.

Upon changing schools the next year, we made our decision that the medication changed himself so much that it was crap, and he didn’t need it. So he’s learning coping methods to help himself.

Upon talking with his teacher at the new school, she said, that he wasn’t severe enough to even need the medications, and she SUPPORTED, our choice as parents.

Huge relief!

Not that it mattered, but still!

Flash forward to this year; I am more active as a parent, getting frustrated with educational cut backs, connecting with all the teachers, and plotting how to raise more money for this school. PTO here I come next year!

Skylar loves her teacher, for the first time in her school career. The past two years I have fought tooth and nail to figure out what her deal was with school; either her brother psyched her up or she is truly enjoying this class, and I have a feeling it is some of both.

Not only is Ms. Hicks taking the time and patience to work with Skylar, or even communicate with me on her needs but she is also still taking my son who is now a third grader under her wings to help him get through, and that too is helping immensely.

Keep in mind, this last winter they had a lot of indoor recess, which my son told me that they sit around and play games; which means he wasn’t burning off his energy, causing him to be wrestless and crazy in class.

I hadn’t mentioned to his teacher that he is ADHD and needs that time to burn it off, and with that, he ensured me that he would have Daegan doing more and more things just to help with that.

The next day Daegan informed me that he does “Check In/Check Out” with Ms. Hicks; he starts his day going to the classroom and telling her how his day will go and what he will work on, etc, and at the end of the day he reports to tell her how his day ended up going.

With his teacher and her teacher working together he is excelling with his behavior in class; although the weather is getting nicer and they are outside a lot more and I am sure that helps, but everything and everyone working together as a team and communicating needs; it has made this year more successful for both my son and my daughter.

I have spoken highly of a couple teachers in this post, however;  the reason that Ms. Hicks fascinates me the most is because of her patience, compassion, and kindness that she has shown this year.

She gets it.

That in itself is fascinating.

 

Who do you have in your life that is fascinating?

 

A Place to Call Home

Today’s challenge topic is

“A place you would live, but have never visited.”

I find this an easily satisfying topic to cover; because I have thought about this many times.

Place: Ireland.

Now, here’s why.

Growing up, being part Irish, was pretty awesome for me; my imaginary friend was a leprechaun. I loved watching the Irish Dance; I even watched the shows over and over again, just to figure out their dance steps so I could properly execute them.

In 5th grade, we had to do reports over various countries, and I immediately selected Ireland, I HAD to do it!

During the time of research, I fell more and more in love with the country- the idea of the Blarney Stone; how rad, refamiliarized myself with Irish Dance, drank at a pub, wait, no that part didn’t happen.

What did happen was that my love of the lands became more and more passionate.

I would love to live in Ireland; however, realistically I am already home.

 

Do you have a place you would love to live, and yet; have never visited?

Tell me in the comments! I would love to hear your story too!